Awesome!.......not so much.

Someone once said to me, "So everyday is awesome for you?!"......my answer was, "No, not everyday. But each day is what you make it" So these days I am struggling with living the reality of my situation of not even being able to do normal life things, never mind trying to get active again. The process is going very slow and I am getting frustrated with it and my patience and positive outlook seems to be wearing out. I'm writing this blog after spending a day on the couch because my body (feet, knees, hips and back) were so sore I couldn't fall asleep until after 2am last night. I woke up this morning and my husband had to get me Advil, I was just able to get out, "I over did it, and I am so sore. I'm sorry hun but you are on your own today" before I fell back into the pillow asleep. That ment that I missed out on a day with my family as they went to the in-laws farm, and instead had to lay here on the couch all day by myself resting. I know that normally that's a dream day for a mother, having the house to yourself and not have to care for the kids. But when you are forced to do it.....not so fun. Recently I have seen a shift in my thoughts, attitude and actions and it's not in the direction of anything awesome. Although I love going out each Tues night and Coaching the Mommy's/Babe's in Motion team I found myself feeling a little down that I can't do what they are doing or that I can't get out to meet other people for walks and I'm feeling a bit lonely because of it. It's no one else's fault because everyone is so supportive and encouraging, it's just my attitude about things right now....I feel left behind since I have to stay behind while others go out and do what I so desperately want to do right now. For the last 2 weeks I also haven't been doing my physio exercises, another reason why the process has become slower (my own fault I know). I have done what many do, I have let other things like work, kids, home get in the way of me taking proper care of myself and the end results is a day like this where I am truly 'left behind' don't get to be with my family and have to spend the day alone and lonely....funny how we spin our own patterns like that yeah!? So although I know what I should be doing and I see all the things I am doing wrong I am still human and it doesn't always go 'awesome'. However, after having a day to reflect and not liking where I have ended up I have a plan and I will write it out here in order to commit to it. I will go back to doing the physio daily I have 3 chance in the day to get this done, in the morning while the baby sleeps, in the afternoon while the baby sleeps and before the big boys get home and in the evening when hubby is home. So I WILL in the day pick one of theses times to stop and do my physio. I will also call a trainer that I know who works with Pre and Post natal woman to come out in a few weeks (I'll set a date) to show me what the next step in exercise is for me to do. I don't know about this and she does and I want to make sure that I will do it right. This will help me to keep doing the physio daily in order to be stronger and ready to move to the next step of building back up. The good news is that the pity party hasn't lasted long and the awesome news is that I feel my days will be going back to being awesome again as I will be making the most of them :) Hope you are living in YOUR Awesome today! :)